Well, this wasn't just a cheap stunt, it's actually part of the epistle reading that we had this last Sunday. Well, it wasn't, but it should have been.
The reading that we had from Sunday was all about fleeing sexual immorality, which is, of course, a good and proper thing to do. Flee sexual immorality, get away from it, run from it as quickly as possible. Don't put yourself in those situations, don't act like 'it just happened,' instead do as much as you can to stay away from where things go bad. And you know where those things are.
But there's a bit of a change-up coming, which is that fleeing sexual immorality doesn't really do much for you unless you're fleeing towards something. It isn't worth a whole bunch if all you're doing is to run directionless in circles. You see, you get the two edged approach, where Paul tells you to flee from sexual immorality, which is great, and then you have Jesus your Lord telling you what to do instead. And he says to follow him.
Now, following Jesus means not leading Jesus around. Stop me if I'm getting too technical. If you're going to follow Jesus, that means that you're going to have to follow him wherever he leads. And there's a good chance that you're not going to like where he leads you. There's a good chance that where he leads you isn't where you want to go. You want to go to the normal human places, right? You want to go to the spots where you get to do whatever you want. You want to eat ice cream for dinner and stay up as late as you want, like a toddler. That's what you want. And we all want to move roughly in the same direction, which is why the road to destruction is broad, and so many people are on it.
But the narrow way, the way to salvation, is the one that Jesus leads you on. That's the one that Jesus, our Lord wants you to follow him on. And the advice from the scriptures isn't just a matter of telling you what not to do, as though the law of God consisted only in avoiding certain behaviors. Rather, the law of God tells you not just what to avoid, but what to draw close to. The law of God doesn't just consist of a matter of saying 'gosh, I should flee sexual immorality,' but rather 'I should run towards sexual morality.' Righte-o.
So what does sexual morality look like? Well, the New Testament helpfully tells you, you know. I know we had the reading from 1 Corinthians that tells you to flee sexual immorality, but the book of first Corinthians goes on after that point too, you know. Here, I'll write it down for you so you can read it for yourselves.
The husband should fulfill his wife's sexual needs, and the wife should
fulfill her husband's sexual needs. The wife give authority over her
body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.
Do not deprive one another of sexual relations, unless you both agree
to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more
completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won't be able to
tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
That's the sexual landscape that Paul puts forward for a Christian marriage. You're not just fleeing away from sexual immorality, you're fleeing towards a fulfilling sexual relationship in the bonds of sacred and holy matrimony, which ought to make everything better. But there's a snag that comes up, especially now, in which the marital satisfaction that Paul is talking about isn't something that is always prioritized in a marriage.
Especially in the church.
In the church, we got so far into the notion of flight from sexual immorality that we completely forgot to flee towards something. All we did was run away from something, and then forgot to think about what way we should be going. Paul even tells you specifically why he recommends this course of action, you know, that you may not burn with lust, that you may not be tempted. Flee sexual immorality, and flee towards the kind of healthy sexual morality that God had in mind when he made them male and female and told them to be fruitful and multiply. So what's the problem? What's the hangup?
Well, you tell me. You tell me why this is one issue that you feel the need to lead Jesus on. For a fairly generous chunk of his earthly ministry, Jesus told his disciples to follow him, and they did, up to a point. They followed him until they disagreed with him, then they wanted to lead him. They followed him only so far, then they got out in front of him, and decided where he could go. The obvious example of this is the moment when Jesus tells his disciples that he has to go to Jerusalem, to fall into the hands of sinful men, to suffer and die, and Peter rebukes him. Peter tells Jesus 'I know you told me to follow you, but I'm not going to follow you to a cross!'
Jesus says to Peter at that point, 'get behind me, Satan. You have not in mind the things of God, but the things of men.' And Peter isn't alone. You and I frequently do that. When we hear God's teachings, we are happy for him to lead us, to follow him, until we're not. Then, we want to be in charge. We are happy to let God lead until things get difficult, until we end up far enough off of the broad way, and then we want to lead him. We want to put him in his place.
I do sincerely wonder in the marriages that are in the churches, if we are taking our responsibilities seriously enough. I wonder if the directives for marriage that Paul gives are taken to heart, or if they are just more things that we look at and say that God doesn't know what he's talking about anymore, that our situation is different, and that we can now lead God where we want him to go. And that's a fatal error.
Jesus didn't come that you may be miserable, he didn't come to suck all the fun and enjoyment out of your life, he straight up says that he came that your joy may be full. He wants strong families, fulfilled husbands and wives, he wants you to actually, shock of all shock, enjoy your relationships, and to live in a safe, strong and well space. This is what the scriptures tend to be all about, and the issue that we're going to come up against is that we see his directives in the scriptures, and we don't want to follow. And then we're surprised when things don't work out. We're shocked when things don't go the way they're supposed to go.
Do we follow Jesus, or do we want to lead him? Do we follow in the world that Jesus wants us to go, or do we tend to want to have him follow us, to follow us where we lead, and to drag him around? That's a really really important question to be answered, and one that we need to consider all the way through. When Jesus tells people to follow him, he tells them to do so wherever he might go. He doesn't go the way they want him to, he doesn't say what they want him to. He leads them to some of the worst places, to lepers, to crowded streets, to responsibilities, to crowds of the sick, the suffering and the dying. He leads them to reeking tombs, to desolate mountaintops and to visions. And finally, he leads them to the cross. If you're someone who has been told by Jesus to follow him (which you have), then you need to know that you're not just being told to follow in his footsteps morally, you're called to follow him wherever he goes. And he walks from the manger through all those scenes above, all the way to the cross, where he sheds his blood for you. And then if you keep following him, you'll follow him to the tomb, and to the resurrection. The problem for most of us is that we only follow him so far, then quit when it gets tough.
But keep following him. Keep following him through your failures, keep following through your difficulties, keep following him even when things get bad and hard. Follow him through all that to the cross, and to salvation.
And yes, if you're married, you should be having plenty of sex. You should be fulfilling each others' needs. You should be serving your partner in the way they need to be served. Tell 'em Paul sent you.
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