Hi reader. Take a second here.
There's a good chance that you are. Maybe if you're reading this in the distant future, you'll be fine, but gosh, today is a tiring day. And they're all tiring these days. These days in which we're hanging out and waiting, shuffling our feet. These days where we're cut off from one another, these days where we're segmented and sliced away, these days are hard. It's not too much to admit it. I'm giving you permission to take a second, breathe, and to take in your exhaustion.
Now, unfortunately, unless I'm much mistaken, I don't think that your exhaustion is going to get fixed by a good night's sleep. Were that the case, I would simply recommend that you go, take a nap, or go to bed early, and get a good night's sleep tonight, and all week. But it's not that easy.
For we are dealing with weariness, with a general exhaustion, a tiredness that is caused not by a lack of sleep, you know, but caused by a general ennui, exhaustion, weariness which are hard to come out of. These aren't easy times, and it's okay to admit that. It's okay to say that you're tired, worn out, and fit to be tied. That's fine. And what you need to know is that you're not alone in this. The scriptures are full of references about this similar sort of circumstance. I have to tell you, you practicing Christian you, that the desire to read through the Bible from beginning to end runs aground not where you'd expect. People expect to fail on the book of Numbers, but honestly once you push through the names of the armies and so on, it's quite an exciting book! It's got Baalam and his talking ass, it's got the serpent on a pole, and it's got a bunch of grapes so big it takes two men to carry it. No, where people tend to run aground is when they decide to read through the psalms beginning to end. No thanks.
Reading through those is like reading through the hymnal and expecting it to read like a novel. Which it doesn't, because the psalms aren't a narrative. They don't tell a story or a history, they don't recount events, rather they're poetry. And what poetry! But they do get a bit repetitive, which shouldn't be too bad, given that our lives are repetitive, to be honest. And all human experience is thus, repetitive, and our experience through this time is echoed through the Psalms, which were written by real people who were going through similar things to ourselves. Here are some examples:
"If I do not remember you, let my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth" (Psalm 137:6)
"I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint. My heart is like wax, it has melted in the midst of my bowels. My strength is dried up like a potsherd, and my tongue cleaves to the roof of my mouth. You have brought me to the jaws of death." (Psalm 22:14-15)
"My burdens are too heavy for me. My wounds stink are are corrupt because of my foolishness. I am troubled, I am bowed down greatly. I go mourning all the day long. For my loins are filled with a loathsome disease, and there is no soundness in my flesh. I am feeble and sore broken. I have roared by reason of the disquetness of my heart." (Psalm 38:5-8)
That's just a sampling. There are plenty more, have fun looking them up. But the point I am trying to make is that being tired, worn out by the weight of the world, that's not a new thing. We can echo the words of the prophet Isaiah who says 'all flesh is like grass,' and think about the grass that we can see these days. Brown, dried up, not green and healthy and vibrant, but dried up and gone. All flesh is like that. And I'll tell you, your flesh is probably feeling like it these days.
For everything takes extra effort these days. Even simple things are hard: going to the store is an ordeal of hoops to be leapt through. Seeing friends and family almost requires a waiver, and I'm only just barely joking. Going to church is a totally different experience, and Christmas itself is set to be the biggest grind of all time in a few short weeks. You thought you were tired before, you're going to be really tired then.
We're not used to it, but we'd better get used to it. Not that you should get used to this Christmas being a horrible grind, which it will be, but you should get used to the idea, the concept that wars, rumors of wars, famines, pestilences, that's the natural order of things. And whatever peace and comfort we have, that's the aberration. That's the uniqueness. That's what we shouldn't expect to last for too terribly long. I don't say this to you to get you down. I too hope for an end to the COVID experience, and I long for a time when family and friends can meet together, when hearts are brave again and arms are strong. But I'm under no illusion that everything will be perfect forever once that happens. Things are hard right now for a reason, you know. They're hard, and even when things get back to easy again, that's not the natural state.
Knowing this means that you can't wait for peace as the world gives. Jesus, in speaking to his disciples close to the end of John says to them 'My peace I give to you. I do not give as the world gives.' And it's a good thing too. The world gives not only an uneasy peace, but it gives a very temporary peace. It doesn't last, and right now, as worn as we are, we should know and understand that. But the peace that Christ gives us is something that doesn't depend on the world and the material conditions of it. If it did, if you were just counting on Christ to get you through this disease, this ennui, this grind, I have some bad news for you, because you're just getting ready for the next one and the one after that. The world lurches from crisis to crisis, from outbreak to outbreak. The world lurches between problems, wars, famines, diseases, natural disasters, essentially constantly. That's what we do. And if we're asking Christ for a return to normal, it'll be to a normal that is between these problems until they manifest themselves again. Which they certainly will.
John baptized with water for repentance. That's a material condition for the world. Being baptized into repentance means that you have looked not only at the material conditions of the world and found that they are wanting, but that you have looked at your own material conditions, and found the same. You've looked at yourself and realized that you lurch from crisis to crisis as well. The wars and rumors of wars in your own life, your own famine and heartache, your own strife with your fellow humans, these things are a micro of the macro of humanity. Being baptized into repentance only means that you are baptized into a realization that the world is the way it is because we have made it that way.
John points out, though, that we are not baptized into repentance only, but are baptized with the Holy Spirit. God himself is bestowed upon us in our baptisms. And what that means is that we are not baptized into repentance alone, but into salvation. We are baptized into forgiveness. The peace that the world gives is a peace that is always stumbling between various crises or disasters or difficulties. The peace that the world gives is always a brief peace between problems, and that's the peace that we have on an individual level as well. But the peace that Christ gives, not as the world gives, is that he reached down into history and washed you clean of your sins. The guilt and shame, the problems and divisions, the things you didn't do that you really should have, all those things have been taken away. And because your baptism is a thing that is not of the world, you can return to it over and over again, and make a powerful and bold claim that you are baptized into Christ Jesus. Baptized into a death like his, and baptized into a resurrection like his. He rose from the dead, and ascended into heaven, and death no longer has dominion over him.. No more scarcity, no more want, no more misery. Just the presence of the Lord God whose peace does not stumble from crisis to crisis, but instead is peace unbound. A forgiven peace. A redeemed peace.
That's what lets you renew your strength, to stand up boldly and to proclaim the name of the Lord, to grow stronger even as the exhaustion sets in, because you're not dealing only with worldly things to satisfy you. You're counting on things divine.
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