One size fits all

 Have you ever noticed something about, well, all media?  It works like this:

There's a movie, and the movie could be an action movie, a comedy, a suspense movie, that kind of thing. But no matter what kind of movie it is, no matter what kind of drama or horror movie it is, there will be a love story clumsily shoehorned into it. Now, maybe it's a romantic comedy, which will, by its nature, require a romance, which is fine, but why is it that pretty much every movie, tv show, radio drama, what have you, will squeeze a romantic subplot in there?  

There may very well be a good reason, and if there is, I don't know what it is, but what it does do is to make every story into the same story. Really.  It makes every story into a romance story.  Which they don't all need to be. 

Think about the multitude of stories that have made up your life, and then think about how may of your relationships weren't romantic, and never became so.  Think about all the time you spent with people you know and love, and how not all of those were the same story over and over again.  Right.  And then think about the permanence of the romance subplot that surpasses everything else.

Now, this has been so pervasive that it infects even the scriptures.  How many times have we heard the idea, mass popularized by the now forgotten 'DaVinci Code' that Mary Magdalene was the secret bride of Jesus, and secretly had his babies, and they secretly sired a dynasty. Okay, sure.  The idea that Mary Magdalene was a romantic consort to Jesus Christ does her a disservice, you know.  It does her a far greater disservice than you think it does.  The reality of Mary Magdalene in the Holy Scriptures is the reality of her as a devoted and dedicated follower of Jesus Christ.  She is someone who learns from him, takes in his teachings, and is excited by his work.  She witnesses his resurrection, and reports on it to the disciples . Now, because we tell the same story over and over again, we feel as though we have to tell it here.  Mary follows Jesus Christ? They must be in love.  They must get married!  We're so opposed and frightened by the possibility that Mary could just, you know, love the teaching of Jesus Christ as the disciples did.  But why? Why does it bother us so much to the point that we'll force them into a relationship whether we are supposed to or not?

Well, we only tell one story.  And that one story hurts us, you know.  The presence of romantic relationships is a limiting factor for Jesus and Mary Magdalene, and it's a limiting factor for us too, you know. That one story pushes people into relationships that they don't necessarily need to be in, squeezing them into a role that they have no desire to be in, by slamming them over and over again with the weight of all of culture pressing them into a marriage because that's the story we tell. 

But Paul doesn't think so. Paul is unmarried, and so is Jesus Christ.  They're unmarried, and they have no problem being unmarried.  They're people who are dedicated to God's kingdom work, and are perfectly fulfilled in doing so.  And that's not strange, you know.  That's normal.  There is perfect fulfillment not just available but recommended by St. Paul as being something good and honorable, just and pure.  But you're not supposed to replace the marriage that you feel forced into with being ground into the gears of big capital, or in pointless hedonism.  You're supposed to dedicate yourself to the Lord. What does that mean? It means that you can find meaning outside of the grinder of social expectations.  You can find meaning, fulfillment, something altogether different but not worse than the typical path that is expected. Rather, you can find fulfillment, true fulfillment in following your Lord wherever he may lead.  

And here's the thing.  Peter is married.  We know that.  We know that, according to his mother in law being in the Gospel reading from Sunday, and according to Paul's first letter to the Corinthians in which he mentions that Peter has a believing spouse.  So, if Peter can have a believing spouse, something that is not denounced by Paul or Christ, why on earth would it be that Peter's successors as Bishops of Rome, and indeed all Roman clergy, would be forbidden to marry? Well, it's that same one size fits all approach, right?  What ends up happening is that all priests are supposed to be unmarried, to better serve the Lord, and the laity are all supposed to be married, to produce children, and that's how the story is supposed to go.  Except according to actual, you know, human experience and scriptural recommendation, it doesn't go that way at all.  Instead, Paul commends the single life as good and holy and doesn't mention it as connected to the office of ministry. And later, Paul commends to the ministers to be the husband of but one wife (that's maximum, not minimum), which seems to suggest that clergy and laity can take spouses, but don't have to.

And what that means, overall, is that maybe, just maybe, the one size fits all solution of cramming everyone into romantic partnership because that's what's supposed to happen doesn't really get you very far.  Maybe just maybe you're not supposed to all follow the same path slavishly because, and this is a hot take here folks, maybe you're not all the same.  And this isn't a pride flag thing that says that maybe you're supposed to have a different sexual partnership, no, what if you're not cut out for it at all?  The culture really doesn't have much to say to you there, you know.  If you're not cut out for or interested in, or finding your health and meaning in sex and marriage, what is to be done with you? Well, there is a solution.

It seems like a one size fits all solution again, but it really isn't.  The marriage destination is a one size fits all funnel that takes all of human experience and slams it into one result, especially within the church.  But the reality of the scriptures, and the reality of, well, reality, will tell you that not everyone is going to find fulfillment in the exact same way.  But Christ doesn't bring fulfillment to everyone in the same way.  He isn't the answer to one problem that we're all expected to have.  Rather, he is the answer to all of them.  GK Chesterton talks about Jesus in that way - to the peacenick, Christ is angry and seeks swords instead of cloaks.  To the warhawk, he will talk about turning the other cheek and offering no resistance.  To the wealthy, he will insist on giving up all possessions and following him, but he will also insist on giving to the poor and the needy building them up.  To the confident, he will break through their sense of self and highlight their sins, but he will bind up the brokenhearted.  In other words, if any stick could be found to beat Christ with, then perhaps it isn't that he's wrong in all those directions, but perhaps he is right.  And if he is right, then he is the right shape to give us rest for our souls.

And that part is key.  Because Jesus Christ comes to save sinners you know, and sinners are people. We don't all sin the same, we don't all have the same hangups and problems , we don't all have the same inadequacies and difficulties, but Christ heals them all.  He promises rest for our souls, and we all need rest in individual ways, we all need to be forgiven of our sins.  We all need to be forgiven, sure, but we all need to be forgiven in individual ways.  And that's where Christ Jesus steps in, and provides us with life and peace.  We all suffer and sin in individual ways, but we are all healed and restored in the same way - by the grace flowing abundantly from the cross of Christ.  That's where we find rest for our souls.